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Thursday, February 7, 2013

Lady in need of a career change! Send help!

New careers

1. Rapper: I've experienced a lot of crap. I think this qualifies me to rap about it.
2. Amish: I have chickens. I have churned butter. I look good in an apron. I can live off the grid. I don't need no stinkin electricity. But I will need to move closer to a creek to wash my clothes.
3. Drug addict: I have some connections. You think this isn't a career--I can go on SSD because of it. Or better yet.....
4. Drug dealer: I always wanted a BMW.
5. Bar tender: come on, I already have the social work degree, most people come to a bar to drown their troubles. I am qualified to help them!
6. Flag girl: I can twirl a flag and get a farmers tan. I know how to swear at crazy drivers. Wonder if Jason or Dad can get me into this.
7. A house cleaner: you have no idea that things I have cleaned in crappy client houses before.
8. Drug tester: people all think that welfare recipients should be tested I will do it!! (the problem is your taxes will probably increase to pay for these tests)
9. Private detective: I'm nosy, I like to dig for info!!
10. Garbage women... You have no idea the smelly houses I've been in. You learn tricks to combat stink.
11. Lion tamer...if you have ever had to wrestle 3 extreme ADHD boys you know lions would be no trouble.
12. A Maury Povich type talk show host... I have lots of experience in "who the baby daddy" drama.
13. A juggler: 'nuf said. Figure this one out.
14. A fairy: I have a lot of experience trying to wave a magic wand. No success, but experience.
15. A dog walker: I like to walk. I like dogs, they don't talk.
16. How about one of those women that sit in the beach and read-- aren't they needed to get pictures of for commercials and advertisements. I would rock that job.
17. Wine & Cheese sampler: I would like a little more wine, with a little less "whine."

You have any other suggestions for me?

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