Monday, June 9, 2014
Random sleep deprived thoughts!
It's summer in 'The View' which means cook outs, swimming, basking in the sun (lay off the cancer threat..I need Vitamin D) and.......summer colds.
It's Day 5 of school's out...it's past midnight as I write this so I'm counting it and both my kids have poison ivy and terrible coughing, hacking, snot-making, generalized miserable colds.
This translates to the cold medicine fight. As if it's not hard enough to convince them to drink the damn cherry/grape/orange, liquid goo-syrup--they refuse.
I've searched the med section of several drug stores and I swear if I could just inject it via hypodermic needle on them I would.
The scene goes something like it.....cough, cough, cough, hack, choke, "mom I think I'm going to throw up I'm coughing so bad...cough, cough, cough". So like a good mother I search frantically for medications. I make a mental note to buy more up to date meds the next grocery trip. I ponder giving them three year-past expiration baby Tylenol then err on side of causion and head to pharmacy area of Hell-mart.
Enter problem number 1--most cold/cough medications are liquid. My kids don't do liquid. Now mind you it could be 14 day old koolaid with mold and they'd skim that shit off and drink it but medicine--woooo, boy. No way.
So starts the night battle.
Me: take the medicine. It will help you.
Girl child: I just can't. I can't. I really can't.
Boy child: oh my gawwwwddd I hate this stuff.
Me: ponder clubbing them over the head to knock them out.
Me again: "ok fine, don't take the medicine but go to bed."
Me: doze off....which generally takes hours but of course not tonight.
Kid: (either at this point) "Mommmmmmm (in voice that would wake the dead) I can't stop coughing."
Me: take the medicine.
Them: the war is on. No medication to be taken.
Me: "ok then go back to bed'
Repeat this scene about 4 times
Me: ok, get some ice water, at very least. (At this point I'm fearing they will lose a lung)
Me: doze off in 5 minutes of no coughing.
Me: awaken to coughing in 6 minutes, but stay frozen in place thinking they can get their own water on their nightstand.
Wrongo.......enter screams of Mmmooooommmmm.
Me: take a drink. Take your medicine.
Child which-ever: no. No medicine.
I'm on hour two of this scene. It's getting old. I'm now perched in the hall between
Bedrooms reminding to take a drink and begging for them to take their cough medicine.
At some point I'm taking the medicine so it will knock me out. If I fall down the steps just let me lay there.
And someone please contact the makers of cough medicine and get that shit in a hypodermic needle to inject or flavor it like skittles or something.