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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Welcome!!!

Hello and welcome newbies to my blog! I found it fitting if you tell people you have a blog and then send them your way that I should probably write something on here! 
Let me tell you a little about me...my name is Carla and I live in Scottdale. In the Kingview area, I refer to myself as the 'self appointed Mayor' of this section of town. I'm sure my fellow 'Kingviewiens' will agree, I run this place!! 
I have two kiddos, which I refer to as 'boy child', age 11 and 'girl child', age 8. I try to remember not to use their real names, as they complain it embarrasses them....(doesn't that mean my job as a mother is being completed!) 

I married my high school sweetheart....I'll pause here for awwwws and ohhhhhhh's! I refer to him as 'man child' at times when he acts like a baby. Gawd, forbid he get a 'man-cold' or it's all over. 
I have 11 chickens and pretend to be a farmer. I love those 'ladies'. 
(If you are going to have chickens...you want them to have a fashion sense!) 

(And monitor your drinking...like a built in AA sponsor!) 

I often feel like Mother Earth when they come running to me as I pull in the driveway in my 'swagger wagon' (minivan). Please don't ever refer to it as a.....minivan....in my mind it's a fabulous pink jeep and I'm super cool. 
I often daydream of running off with a cute little chick camper pulling behind it. One day I'm hitting the open road...and it won't be to drive my children to school! 
My dog is my best friend...her name is Daisy. She doubles as a coffee table, but don't make fun of her weight..she has a thyroid problem..for realsies! If you see her, bring bones and don't be alarmed if she has paint on her. She often gets in the way. 


I have two cats... Emily and Squawkers. Squawkers was referred to as "Porch Kitty" for the longest time but her big mouth named her. Squawkers often runs patrol on the neighborhood. She visits each person, eats...gets petted...and conveniently comes back here to poop in my yard or litter box. I often find dead animals on my porch...like a sacrificial thank-you.....er...."ok, thanks, Squawkers" 

The other cat  is old and mean. 

(She may not look vicious here...but she is!) 
She's never came to terms with me birthing children. The only time we see her is when she eats or needs to use the litter box and she conveniently sleeps almost on my head every night. She might be plotting to suffocate me in my sleep.  
Sleep: I don't do that well. If you see my lights all on my 3am...I'm probably painting on  my  kitchen floor, not cooking up meth.  
I don't like to cook, the 'man child' said when we bought our house, the kitchen only needed to be big enough for the delivery guy to set the take out box down! I don't do dishes he does...it's pay back for me push-mowing the grass once when I was pregnant. (Seems fair!) But, I can rock power tools...my sander is never far from my side. 
My porches look like we are in a perpetual state of moving but that's because I don't have a garage and like to paint on the porches. .....and my Dad's a big meany and won't let me muck up his garage!! 
I started painting as a mental health break from my real 'job' as a social worker. It was better for my body then lots of meds due to the stress. Now painting is a passion....and I'm on a mission to rid the world of ugly furniture. I couldn't fix people anymore, so furniture it is. Bonus is: it doesn't threaten to kill me.  Thus...Mommy in the 'Dale Furniture was born. (It was an easy birth...all natural, no meds...most beautiful baby ever!) 
I am happy to announce my first venture at getting the crap out of my house when it's done booth! I should have totally named my booth that! 

I am renting a large space at Saturday's Treasures in Mt. Pleasant. I'm hoping (and praying...I'm Christian and stuff!) that it does well! 
Thanks for coming along for the ride. Sit back in the swagger...er, pink jeep...the tops down, the music is up...and there's furniture hauling in the back! 
~Carla 

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