What I learned 10/27/13

10/27/13 

1. These 'bitstrips' cartoons on FB make me crazy. Not only are they stupid, I just don't understand 99% of them. 

2. My children way overuse the word "literally", literally. 

3. The boy child sucks at spelling....literally. 

4. I have lazy, non-laying chickens. 

5. Rich has the bladder of a pregnant  woman. 

6. Touching pregnant women bellies is illegal in PA...I'm going to jail and I don't even care. 

7. I love the concept of play it forward and try to do it at least once a week. 

8. People who take advantage of good hearted people suck.  They are not put on earth to support you. Get a job. You are breaking their hearts. If you are thinking this is about you, it probably is. Take note, the next step is to confront you in person and I'm trying not to embarrass you and put you on blast, but trust me I will. 

9. Rich has to take a day off work to have a "date" with me. Our date consisted of a trip to Walmart. It was fun. 

10. Oh Kim Kardashian.  We really don't want to see your ass. 

11. This pathetic guy wasted his money: 

12. Chicken coffins..who knew! 

That's it for this week. What can you reflect about? 

What I learned. 10/20/13

10/20/13

1. TLC really needs to contact me for a new show concept. "Facebook Wars". I'm copyrighting that! 

2. I love Morty from the 'Swiffer' commercials. I've adopted them as my pretend grandparents. Pap-pap Morty's sure to hook me up with a cool  Swiffer package at Christmas. 

3. Sometimes not getting what you want is exactly what you need. 

4. There's an unspoken competition at my house between the girl child and boy child. Which can set mom over the edge faster? The boy that misses the toilet peeing or the girl that never flushes. Stay tuned to see if the mom starts to make them build an outhouse. 

5. I'd like to reclaim my bed on the weekend. Or at least get my side back. Two kids, two animals and me don't fit well enough for me. 

6. The boy child is at the age where he doesn't want to dress up for Halloween but still wants the loot....11yr old issues, yo. 

7. There are more dead deer along Rt 119 then in fields this week. 

8. Life's a constant struggle for me: MILF vs shaving legs. Decisions, decisions. 

9. If my hubby doesn't stop playing GTA, there's going to be a 187 in 'da house. (Explaination: GTA-- video game, 187--murder code)

10. Someone needs to come up with dessert delivery. Cake and pies please. 

  

That's all for this week! What reflections can you make? Share!! Enjoy your week...remember to learn new things. 

Barn red cabinet. Large!

Red cabinet 

38" wide, 52" tall, depth of 17 inches 

Barn red and glazed. 

Inside has original clothes hanger on left. Cabinet has been fitted to be a gun cabinet however does not need to be used in this manner. Extremely functional piece. Think kitchen for panty cabinet. Entry way for coats and shoes, bathroom for linens. Bedroom for clothes or family room for games and books. Holidays are coming. You need storage!!! Located in Scottdale but willing to meet. $125.00

After: 

Before: 

Red cabinet

Red cabinet 

33 in wide, 13 inch depth, 31 inch tall. 

Solid wood. Two shelves inside. 

Top has been sanded and stained. Bottom sanded and painted a barn red shade and glazed and waxed. 

Perfect for a tv/media cabinet or wine cabinet. Could be used in hall as entry table or bathroom. Extremely versatile piece that's on petite side. Excellent pop of color. Red blends well with so many other colors. Located in Scottdale but willing to meet. 

$70.00 

After: 

Before: 

Antique rocking chair

Rocking chair. 

Painted white then glazed and waxed. 

Moderately distressed for shabby chic look. 

New burlap upholstery. Perfect for use or in a corner with country prim decorations. 

Located in Scottdale but willing to meet. 

$35.00

Chevron dresser

Dresser 

Three drawer. Solid wood. Very heavy. Must pick up in Scottdale. 

48" wide, 38" tall, 22" depth

Painted in tan chalk based paint and waxed. Chevron design. Distressed to add character. Perfect in a bedroom or living room as a tv stand. Could also be used in a dining room as a buffet.  

$70.00

After: 

Before: 

Here's breakdown! 

Paid $25.00 

Drawers were tight and sticking. Needed sanded down and one needed fixed. 

Back had part where mirror was attached but broken so it needed taken off. 

It has multiple layers and colors of paint. Sanded to smooth. Painted with my chalk based paint formula. Sanded again and second coat added. 

Waxed  in clear wax. 

Chevron measured out and marked. 

Free handed chevron. 

Sanded to distress. 

Waxed again. 

And here she is in her finest! 

$70.00 is priced to move fast because I'm simply out if room! 

Weekly reflections 10/13/13

10/13/13

1. I. Need. A. Baby. Someone needs to make this happen because Rich won't participate to make it happen. I need not birth a child. A porch baby would be fine. (A girl baby would be nice because I could dress her in Vera Bradley's baby line. A boy baby is ok too.) 

2. I think all the morning shows like "Good Morning America" "Today" show, etc are boring and annoying on purpose to make you get up and do something rather than lounge on the couch. 

3. I have a two-time-dog-roll-in-shit limit before I totally get pissed at the dog. 

4. I was too lazy to drag out my fall/Halloween decorations from the attic, so I just bought new. 

5. Apparently the grass is greener (or tastes better) on the other side of the fence to my chickens...this answers the age ol' question of why the chicken crossed the road. 

6. Few want to step up to be the leader, but most are quick to criticize the leader. 

7. There is lice (and that's bad enough) and now "super lice"? Good grief. Below is a pic of kids bookbags and jackets thrown on the floor at library at school. All I could think was "super lice, super lice, super lice!" 

That's all for this week! What can you reflect on? 

Mommyhood sometimes sucks...drop of funnies!